Monday, November 3, 2014

Halloween Recap

Happy Monday, kids!

I hope everyone has recovered from the craziness of Halloweekend and is getting their week off to a good start. Or better than mine, at least. This morning in yoga class we were all forced to sit in the pitch black and meditate around a candle while our teacher chanted things at us in another language. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is seriously concerned that we were all just inducted into a blood cult. She said that next week she's bringing in Kool-Aid!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Halloween in NYC, it is generally a 2-3 day event, although many people did not get the memo and simply had to wear costumes for 8 days straight, making everyone around them literally hate them. Seriously. I can't even get into how enraged that makes me.

I dressed up as a Girl Scout, wearing my actual old Girl Scout sash and my sister's private school uniform skirt, which I suppose might have been bad press for everyone involved considering the fact that I was traipsing about in the clubs all night. 

Wonderful representation of Girl Scouts everywhere
That being said, there were some costumes that I saw way too many times this year, and it needs to be addressed. Presenting: The Most 5 Annoying and Overdone Costumes of 2014.

1. Cat
You're annoying and everybody hates you. Especially if you're Kendall Jenner.

2. The Spice Girls
Why did everyone have to be the goddamn Spice Girls this year? Most of you were like 2 years old when they were popular and had to spend hours extensively googling what each of the girls wore because you literally had no idea. Wannabes. Get it?

3. Britney Spears
The "Baby, One More Time" outfit was everywhere this year, and while I do admit I briefly considered this as an option, I realized I could never pull it off like Lauren Conrad did in 2011. I saw more Britneys than cats this year, which is saying a lot, because everyone's a fucking cat. 

4. The Cheetah Girls
I honestly have no idea why anyone would actually want to be Raven Symone or that one girl Rob dated in the earlier seasons of Kardashians. Enough said. 
5. Isis
And a big shoutout to Iggy Azalea's horrifyingly accurate depiction of White Chicks. I hope I never have to see anything like that ever again. 

Shuddering all the way to my grave.
So have fun nursing your 3-day-long hangovers and don't kill me if I insulted your ultra creative Halloween costumes. It's not my fault the rest of America had the same idea as you.

Trying to forget the fact that I did see someone dressed up as an Ebola doctor,

Sunday, November 2, 2014

No, I did not die of Ebola

Hello, ladies and gentlemen!

I know what you're thinking: "What the hell, Mer". 
I know that I haven't posted in like 45 years, but I swear I have a good explanation for all this.

Moral of the story?


I've basically spent the last six weeks half dead in Connecticut, but I'm finally alive and ready to get back to blogging.

Someone actually stopped me a block away from campus on Friday and yelled at me for not posting, so hey, this is for you.

AAANNNYYYWAAAY, in the meantime I've been making really stupid and pointless videos on my ~*~*brand new YouTube channel*~*~ so be sure to check that out if you want to see some beautifully crafted videos including the story of how I leaked One Direction's new album (don't even ask), and a dorm tour.

SO YES, I am aware that this post shouldn't even count as a post, but more as an excuse and a call for forgiveness, but here I am.

Yes, I am actually still alive,

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

How Rachael Ray Single-Handedly Ruined My Wednesday

6 AM and I am awoken by screaming. 

And I don't mean just a little shout; I'm talking an ear-piercing, blood-curdling shriek. My immediate reaction is to jump out of bed, thinking that there's a fire or something, because what the hell could be producing such a reaction, other than a life-or-death emergency? 

The shrieking slowly begins to sound more like cheering. Maybe they put out the fire and everyone's cheering on the FDNY? Now we must remember, I'm barely awake and this seems like a perfectly logical explanation to me.

I pry apart the shades of my window and discover that my worst nightmare has been realized: my dorm is surrounded by hundreds of middle-aged women, waiting to be granted entry into the Rachael Ray show. 

The scene of the crime.

Flashback to a month ago when I thought it was super cool that Rachael Ray's studio was right outside. Sure, the massive poster appeared to stare into my soul at all hours of the day, but who doesn't love a good 30-minute meal?

That being said, a well-cooked casserole is nothing to scream about. Who knew that a bunch of 40-year-old women waving autographed copies of a cookbook could rival the noise level of One Direction fans?

So yeah, I essentially lost two hours of precious beauty sleep because of Rachael Ray and her damn "EVOO". 
The face of pure evil.

Is it drastic to say that Rachael and her delicious casseroles are my official new arch-nemesis?

Seriously, if you have the time and energy to spend your Wednesday morning camped outside to watch a woman literally do nothing except cook, I'm happy for you, I really am, but there's no need to alert the entire block.

Officially against the terms "Delish!" and "Yum-O!",

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

First Post! (About your blogger and other boring technicalities)

So I guess this is how you make a blog post?

It's been almost a month since I moved to NYC from a Connecticut suburb, and my mother (the ultimate stage-mom) has suggested I create a blog documenting what it's like to be a teen in New York. Since I have so much free time between my absurd amount of required classes, I took her up on the offer. Let's see how long this lasts.

Okay, so who am I, and why would you want to read my blog?
My name is Merrill; some people call me Mer, other people call me Blondie, and others refer to me as "That girl over there". I'll really answer to anything as long as you're looking at / pointing at me, because I'm generally way too embarrassed to correct you. I also really wanted the URL "Womanhattan", but upon researching the title, I discovered that the URL had been taken by a blog written in a language that I don't understand, which has not been updated since 2005. Alas, such is life.  

Me looking fresh in Sepia in front of this fancy-ass bridge in Brooklyn.
I'm 18 years old and a freshman at the Fashion Institute of Technology. My major is called Visual Presentation and Exhibition Design, also known as VPED, and is a mixture of various elements, which still confuses me. Since my major is so tiny, I have gotten used to trying to explain the major, and I have finally settled on saying that it is a mixture of styling, merchandising, event planning, and exhibition design, among other things. Confusing, yes, but incredibly interesting.

My classes consist of the following:
  • Design and Rendering (somewhat of an architecture class mixed with exhibition design. I'll update you all as soon as I figure out what the hell this class is about)
  • Yoga (namaste, bitch)
  • Photography
  • Professional Practices (learning about the different parts of the fashion industry)
  • Drawing
  • Product Presentation/ Studio Design (photo styling and the creation of window displays)
  • Display Graphics (a fancy way of saying Graphic Design. Still trying to figure out why they did that)

I haven't decided how often I'm going to post (I'm lazy and indecisive), but I guess we'll all find out. If you've read this far: Hey, You're awesome. Thanks for coming. 

Much love,