Monday, November 3, 2014

Halloween Recap

Happy Monday, kids!

I hope everyone has recovered from the craziness of Halloweekend and is getting their week off to a good start. Or better than mine, at least. This morning in yoga class we were all forced to sit in the pitch black and meditate around a candle while our teacher chanted things at us in another language. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is seriously concerned that we were all just inducted into a blood cult. She said that next week she's bringing in Kool-Aid!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Halloween in NYC, it is generally a 2-3 day event, although many people did not get the memo and simply had to wear costumes for 8 days straight, making everyone around them literally hate them. Seriously. I can't even get into how enraged that makes me.

I dressed up as a Girl Scout, wearing my actual old Girl Scout sash and my sister's private school uniform skirt, which I suppose might have been bad press for everyone involved considering the fact that I was traipsing about in the clubs all night. 

Wonderful representation of Girl Scouts everywhere
That being said, there were some costumes that I saw way too many times this year, and it needs to be addressed. Presenting: The Most 5 Annoying and Overdone Costumes of 2014.

1. Cat
You're annoying and everybody hates you. Especially if you're Kendall Jenner.

2. The Spice Girls
Why did everyone have to be the goddamn Spice Girls this year? Most of you were like 2 years old when they were popular and had to spend hours extensively googling what each of the girls wore because you literally had no idea. Wannabes. Get it?

3. Britney Spears
The "Baby, One More Time" outfit was everywhere this year, and while I do admit I briefly considered this as an option, I realized I could never pull it off like Lauren Conrad did in 2011. I saw more Britneys than cats this year, which is saying a lot, because everyone's a fucking cat. 

4. The Cheetah Girls
I honestly have no idea why anyone would actually want to be Raven Symone or that one girl Rob dated in the earlier seasons of Kardashians. Enough said. 
5. Isis
And a big shoutout to Iggy Azalea's horrifyingly accurate depiction of White Chicks. I hope I never have to see anything like that ever again. 

Shuddering all the way to my grave.
So have fun nursing your 3-day-long hangovers and don't kill me if I insulted your ultra creative Halloween costumes. It's not my fault the rest of America had the same idea as you.

Trying to forget the fact that I did see someone dressed up as an Ebola doctor,


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