Happy Monday, kids!
I hope everyone has recovered from the craziness of Halloweekend and is getting their week off to a good start. Or better than mine, at least. This morning in yoga class we were all forced to sit in the pitch black and meditate around a candle while our teacher chanted things at us in another language. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is seriously concerned that we were all just inducted into a blood cult.
She said that next week she's bringing in Kool-Aid!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Halloween in NYC, it is generally a 2-3 day event, although many people did not get the memo and simply had to wear costumes for 8 days straight, making everyone around them literally hate them. Seriously. I can't even get into how enraged that makes me.
I dressed up as a Girl Scout, wearing my actual old Girl Scout sash and my sister's private school uniform skirt, which I suppose might have been bad press for everyone involved considering the fact that I was traipsing about in the clubs all night.
|Wonderful representation of Girl Scouts everywhere|
|You're annoying and everybody hates you. Especially if you're Kendall Jenner.|
2. The Spice Girls
|Why did everyone have to be the goddamn Spice Girls this year? Most of you were like 2 years old when they were popular and had to spend hours extensively googling what each of the girls wore because you literally had no idea. Wannabes. |
3. Britney Spears
4. The Cheetah Girls
|I honestly have no idea why anyone would actually want to be Raven Symone or that one girl Rob dated in the earlier seasons of Kardashians. Enough said.|
And a big shoutout to Iggy Azalea's horrifyingly accurate depiction of White Chicks. I hope I never have to see anything like that ever again.
|Shuddering all the way to my grave.|
So have fun nursing your 3-day-long hangovers and don't kill me if I insulted your ultra creative Halloween costumes. It's not my fault the rest of America had the same idea as you.
Trying to forget the fact that I did see someone dressed up as an Ebola doctor,